My shining star,
I first imagined you when I was twenty years old. I was young and in love and for the first time I contemplated bringing a life into this world. At first I was excited, wondering if you would be a boy or a girl. Would you look like me, talk like me, behave like me? A little mini me, beautiful, bouncy, happy, with a smile so warm. These sweet images urged me to explore the fantasy. Slowly, but surely, the image of you coming into this world began to frighten me. I was scared because I suddenly realized how unprepared I was for you. How will I feed you? What will I teach you? I was still a child myself…
It is the day of your birth. I cannot sit still. You came a day earlier than expected. I still don’t know if I am ready for you. It takes them twelve hours to deliver you. Why so long? I worry about you already. Can you walk? Will you be able to see? I hope I have not made a mistake bringing you into this life. This life of good and evil. I hope the world you are born into will enable you to chart your own course. The call of my name interrupts my thoughts. I run into the room and see you for the first time. I pick you up, hold you in my arms and in that moment I realize; I will never love anything more.
Your cry wakes me up at night. I hurry to your bedside, eager to comfort you. Do not fear, my star. Daddy is here. Daddy will always be here. I made that promise to you on the day you were born. As I rock you to sleep, I speak to you of the future, a future of which only you can see.
I watch you run free in yard. I hope I help you build a strong body and spirit. Believe me my star, you will need it. I hope you have a big heart my child and learn to share early. I hope I teach you to understand emotion. I hope we create a bond that no one can break.
You are almost as tall as I am. Time goes by so quickly. I hope I have thought you to think independently. I hope you are not too rebellious, and I hope you understand and remember that I too was once searching for myself.
You are an adult now. Honestly, were did the time go. I hope I helped you develop a sense of duty. I hope I have taught you discernment, so you know when to let go before getting hurt. Laugh! It will help you get through life. I hope I am someday able to relate with the person I helped raise as an equal. You now understand how stressful these bills can be!
Finally, I hope that my journey through life with you is not a failure, but a success in raising someone who did indeed learn to form their own ideals.
Always remember my child; no one will ever love you more than I.
From the depths of my being,
Your father.
By Alfred
Twitter: @alfred_savage
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